What might help to support you as you travel through your grieving journey?
It might sound obvious but get enough sleep, eat regularly and take small breaks often
Be gentle with yourself and others who are grieving
Give yourself permission to grieve. Death is both devastating and challenging make it as easy a route as you possibly can.
Offer others information how they can support you, most people don't know unless you tell them which might just to be left alone.
Reflect on what helped to support you in the past if it worked try it now it may work but don't be discouraged if it doesn’t this time.
Write your feelings out, create poems to express your feelings, write in a diary or create stories of your personal journey.
Do something creative, paint draw or collage your feelings to express them indirectly.
Visit people on the days you feel able or invite someone over to visit you for afternoon tea or lunch.
Spend some time in nature go for a gentle walk, give yourself sometime to reflect and/or clear your head.
Share your feelings with a friend. If you are overwhelmed with your grief, consider contacting a professional counsellor or agency who offers bereavement support.
Following the death of our beloved, an enormous change has taken place which cannot be undone. We begin to realise life can never be the same again. Reality tells you there is nothing which can be done to bring our loved one back. What we can do is begin to look at the way we think, feel and behave since you were bereaved. With this realisation it is possible to discover new ways of being by becoming more aware, gaining understanding to what makes you tick as an individual person. To discover within yourself strengths which you perhaps did not know existed or have not acknowledged before. To remember your loved one and all their beautiful qualities, strengths and gift they left you with.
To discover and achieve new strengths it may be necessary to raise our awareness, skills and knowledge. Counselling sessions are designed to offer you deeper clarity, insight, raise your self-awareness, make you think and tools to support your journey through your grieving process and into your future.
It is 'normal' to feel like you are going 'mad' or 'crazy' for a time following the death of your loved one many people cope with their bereavement and mourning runs a natural course. You may find one day you wake up and you don't feel that intense feeling of aloneness or that feeling of not knowing what to do, the feelings are still there but they are fading and less intense. You will never be the same again once you lose someone close through death but the intensity of your feelings will be more manageable. When time has passed which is different for everyone your feelings will subside to a manageable level with special days such as anniversary of the death or the persons birthday or when at family gathering such as Christmas for example being more intense. If however you feel lost or stuck in your grief for sometime or your feelings are overwhelming or you already had intense emotions or this death comes on top of other traumatic event your grief could be complex and/or compounded then it is advisable to seek professional support from a GP or through counselling.
Many people have fleeting feelings or thoughts of wanting to die themselves following the death of a close loved one and this is a normal part of grieving. However if you have prolonged feelings or thoughts of suicide, find yourself making plans or have attempted to harm yourself or others it is wise to share those feelings and thoughts with someone straight away and seek professional help from your family doctor who will be able to support you and help to alleviate your distress. If you are worried and can't get hold of your GP go to your nearest A&E and they will be able to support you.
Please remember anything new and any change takes time and constructively undertaken one step at a time for lasting results; exploration, awareness and insight as described here needs to be thought about with imagination, respect and empathy towards others; paying equal respect and empathy towards Self. We begin to build an 'new normal'.
You have lost your loved one' physical body but your relationship can and does live on in your heart, mind and soul. I encourage you to talk about your beloved and to clarify the gifts and unique treasure they have left you with.
You've heard that cliche? People say?
"ITS GOOD TO TALK" .... it is ....
Simply because it supports and heals and offers us all a connection and a sense of belonging. No one needs to be on their own in their grief unless they choose to be, it is often very productive to speak with someone who is not so close to you such as an experienced and compassionate counsellor.
As your personal counsellor I will listen to you and listen to your needs without judging, criticising, shaming or blaming; together we will find a way to manage and transform what you are experiencing.