Learn -  everything you can about any and all your symptoms how you are coping after recognising you have are/been in an unhealthy relationship and has affected you greatly; become aware of everything you can about how you feel and think.  If you feel anxious learn all there is about anxiety how it process itself throughout your body, you may even be suffering with post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD or complex post traumatic stress disorder CPTSD, learn all there is to know about it, seek guidance from your GP for a diagnosis if that's what you need and ask what you can do about it.   Learn all there is to learn about how your body is responding.  If you feel depressed, make an appointment with your GP and learn all there is to learn about depression.  If you are struggling seek and ask for help from the most appropriate person who can offer you support with what you are struggling with whilst you work through your healing.  You do not need to go it alone any longer there are many people who can support your healing path you just need to ask.  join on-line forums or support groups and contact a professional counsellor for support.  Learning and knowledge puts you in the driving seat offers you more of an informed choice so you can make decision for what you want.  Can support your values, beliefs and attitude's and how you behave towards yourself and others.

Grieving - After the breakup of any relationship you will need to grieve the loss of what might have been!  We  can expect to grieve for the relationship and all that love we felt you had for him or her.  We may have been  trauma bonded.  We  can expect to experience all the stages of grief and experience the emotional upheaval which grief brings, abandonment, anger, despair, sadness, trauma etc etc.  Become aware of all our personal feelings and thoughts, not all at once and not alone, gain the support of an experienced grief counsellor and one who is also knowledgeable about healing from unhealthy and/or abusive relationships.  Grieving such loss is an important step on the way to becoming all that you want to become, releasing any emotions around and tapping into our inner resources.  Our resources are there they have been hidden  away behind what the unreasonable behaviour created i.e. confusion and disorientation.

If you've read all these pages and explored the theorists work then you are  probably  now beginning to become aware of how complex and difficult  healing from relationship/s with people utilising inconsistent  behaviours and

with such complex needs is!  Don't give up though step by step you can become an assertive, confident person who has a strong sense of self and self-esteem, a person who is self-managed and creating a loving and peaceful  future for yourself and any children you care for!