Rupture & Repair in Supervision

We are often quick to judge another and ourselves, we all face the fear of judgment everyday with every person we meet or connect with.

It is important to remember our personal perceptions are shaped by our own biases, experiences, backgrounds, childhoods and relationships we’ve had/have; where we are psychologically and emotionally, in any given moment, along with our own insecurities.

So what is a therapeutic rupture in supervision?

A rupture in the supervisory relationship is a strain, tension, misunderstandings, mis-attunement to a complete  breakdown in the emotional connection and/or trust between supervisee and supervisor. Which can lead to either a temporary or permanent ending of the relationship.

This can be seen in moments of lapses of concentration, disconnections in emotions or the relationship or a complete breakdown of the communication within the therapeutic alliance.

Different types of ruptures:

Alliance rupture this is when difficulties arise between the people relating in this case between the supervisee and the supervisor. Communication or collaboration breaks down and the relationship becomes strained or tense, if left unresolved this can lead to temporary or permanent ending of the alliance.

Confrontational rupture the supervisee may express their disapproval, become angry or complain to the supervisor. This is an invitation to the supervisor to start the repair and resolve the unrest and rupture can be addressed there and then.

Withdrawal rupture this is a more subtle rupture, it may be difficult to detect or understand within session time or it was partly realised. If the material that was the cause of the rupture is implicit within the session, then time is needed to become explicitly aware of what was happening in the moment-by-moment meeting. This type of rupture is often more fully recognised on reflection after the session has taken place. When time allows for reflection or supervision with the supervisors, supervisor to take place and exploration of the dynamics occurring during the session.

The supervisee may also have difficulty in fully understanding the dynamics involved in a rupture, doesn't have the confidence to 'confront' or challenge the supervisor in the moment or have fears of disapproval, retaliations or being abandoned.

If material or personal difficulties are identified then these can to be taken to personal therapy.

Impact of ruptures

Ruptures can create anxiety, negative feelings, misunderstanding, uncertainty, evoke past feelings of not being good enough, a feeling of everything is wrong, a sense of foreboding and a whole host of other negative emotions and sensations. For both the supervisee and the supervisor.

In all relating there are moments of frustration and confusion, ruptures are common wherever people are interacting and in whatever context relating takes place.

Causes of ruptures in the alliance.

Ruptures can happen for many reasons and may not be obvious at first.  Ruptures have many causes and it a good idea to make ourselves familiar with the idea of ruptures as practitioners, so we know how to address them when they do occur. For example:

• Communication breakdown.

• Power differential.

• Feeling misunderstood.

• Feeling misheard.

• Feeling silenced, feeling judged.

• Feels anger or frustration towards supervisor/supervisee.       

• Mismatched expectations.

• Coming across as authoritarian.

• Offering a less than empathetic response.

• Not attending or offering warmth.

• Failure of supervisor to notice a rupture has taken place.

• Psychodynamics implicitly in play.

• Misunderstanding in communication.

• Emotional response i.e. feelings of not being good enough can help the supervisee to shut down, be confrontational or withdraw.

The depth and breathe of the rupture can be seen on a continuum of intensity from a subtle sense something feels off to complete breakdown of trust and belief in the supervisory relationship. 

Ruptures are common wherever people are relating and in whatever context relating takes place, but they can significantly affect the effectiveness of the working supervision alliance.

Relating

Its important in any relationship to have firm but flexible boundaries after all a class teacher has a curriculum to follow, marriage begins with the sharing of vows and a therapist has a counselling contract.  These are the boundaries we are setting up to live, love and work through and are important to the understanding, safety and safeguarding of all involved.

It’s no surprise to any of us supervision also starts with an agreement a supervision contract we both agree with and it makes sense to have this in place before we start relating and working together.

All relationships work best with collaboration, compromise and respect.

Ruptures can be repaired if both parties are willing to communicate and stay with the unknown, which can be uncomfortable but becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable is an essential process for counselling practitioners. 

 How can we repair a rupture in the therapeutic alliance?

• Recognise a rupture has occurred – this may be implicit in the beginning before explicit awareness comes into full view.

• Once aware of the rupture acknowledge with the other person in the dyad.

• Be open in your communication – it is the supervisors role to start the repair.

• Lead with curiosity - Leave any assumptions where they belong (in the bin!).

• If you have caused a rupture then  admit to it and make apologies.

• Accept your part in the rupture within the alliance.

• If you’ve made a mistake own it and take responsibility.

• Respect the supervisees defences and your own if they come up.

• Make the process as collaborative as possible.

• Actively work together to discuss what went wrong -  what factors were in place

• Reflect upon what was happening between the two parties in those precise

• moments of the meeting?

• Considering the context is very important to understanding the rupture.

• Hold boundaries with self-compassion and compassion for the other.

• Be honest and use integrity.

• Focus on relational repair – and always be kind!

 Further reflection to repair the professional alliance:

• Reflect and rectify  – make a choice and act to make the repair.

• What was happening for both supervisor and supervisee right before the rupture occurred?  What is each person’s subjective experiences.

• What discomforts came up in those moments of relating?

• Reflect upon your bodily reactions at the time, they have so much to inform us.

• Explore possibility of transference/countertransference or projection- identifications being experienced by either person.

• What thoughts or feelings were being experienced by both?

• Does the other person remind you of anyone in your past or present life?

• Respect interpersonal dynamics that could be playing out in this relationship.

• Be creative to discover the learning held within the rupture

• Find a way forward if not for the dyad if one party has disconnected for good

then find a way forward that is healthy for you personally.

 If one party isn’t willing to communicate and cuts off all contact, you can still reflect upon the rupture yourself and as always take to your own supervision for support and further reflections.  This will support your self-awareness and understandings and help to restore any lost confidence.

 Takeaway

Ruptures can happen for many reasons and may not be obvious at first.

Ruptures are not failures and acknowledges our collective  humanness. 

If  you gave a less than empathic response, came across as judgmental or wasn’t attuned to the other, for example. This doesn’t mean you are a failure or not good enough in all areas of your work.  It means you are human and to "err is human". 

Considering the context, transference/countertransference, projective identifications or mis-attunement.

Reflect over the above further reflection to ascertain what helped the rupture occur and use the rupture as an opportunity to learn as much as you can from it so we are aware next time and will be more empowered to keep the boundaries.

It is also important to make ‘repair’ of any ruptures even if the alliance decide to part ways. Ruptures although may seem negative, are a rich source of learning, growth and development for both supervisee and supervisor equally. 

That can only be good for clients journey's through counselling.

We're looking for process not perfection!

If you're struggling in your here and now living  it really is good to talk, you don't need

to go through this journey alone. 

I offer a free 30 mins video call so we can meet before our first session. Contact me at email: pendulumofpeace8@gmail.com text or WhatsApp message to 07867938630 and lets connect and realise your fullest potentials.