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Why Pendulum of Peace?
I am often asked where my business name came.
When I was a little girl, my grandparents had two Grandfather clocks in their sitting room, I imagined one for each grandparent. As I’d sit and watch the pendulums swing from side to side, I felt in a hypnotic trance, hearing the rhythmic tick tock, watching the slow, steady movement of the weight, back and forth. The Pendulum representing the calm movement of the flow of life, well how I would like my life to be at that time.
Noticing and observing I often felt I was suspended somewhere between the movement, hanging in my imagination. I remember a feeling of freedom, which was affirmed in my imagination by watching black beauty running free in a field with the gentle breeze gently pushing through its mane. For those who don't know Black Beauty was a TV program about a horse, yet there was also a tension present, the reality of my life, both feelings were moments that contained lots of moments and somehow very precise.
As I grew, the memory of the clocks faded but was never forgotten because the little girl I was used to go to places in her imagination where no one else could enter, the calming pendulum was always present.
Three decades later when I was having an adventure with high levels of anxiety, I read the following words by Carl Jung.
“The pendulum of the mind oscillates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.”
These word made absolute sense to me at the time of reading, I wanted to learn more. My childhood lived and felt experiences, made me curious and motivated to explore further. Understand who I was and what I was carrying around in my own Being. The thoughts of ‘me as a little girl’, were flooding my mind as my psyches multiple doors swung open and laid all the content of their rooms bare, as the whim of high anxiety states tend to do. The pendulums in my mind at that time were ticking, oscillating, and moving as if on speed, it was very fear evoking.
There were no gap it seemed in my head between the thoughts of me as a child and me as an adult in that anxiety state. Was I crazy? I’d ask myself, not daring to speak those words out loud in case someone confirmed I was. But the little logic I could grasp hold of, told me I wasn’t mad, bad, or crazy, my inner chatterbox was talking gibberish, swinging between sense and nonsense, it seemed. Once consciously gotten hold of they all made sense in with time and a ole lorra effort, pain and tears.
Through my own growth and healing I've come to understand in my childhood my grandparents clocks, well the 'pendulums' were my psychological anchors, yet in the high anxiety state they were also the source of my fear due to the speed they were moving. As I grasped and clung to times pendulum, swinging between unknown terror and salvation, both proving too hot to handle, yet eventually after much exploration on from my adult peace reins.
If you observe someone in a high anxiety state they are always on edge, fearful and on the verge of panic, fight, flight, freeze or shutdown, whichever one is utilised by that individual person. There doesn’t appear to be a middle ground at first, our mind is in perpetual motion it never stops, think about dreams, the body sleeps yet the mind is active, until the energy is not there to utilise anymore, and the body dies.
Like clocks our mind and body are a precise work of art, each part working together to help the organism which is you and I survive.
Through my searching and reflections upon my lived experiences I've come to understand 'pendulation' is the natural way of our mind. It means the natural pulsations between states of expansion and contraction in our nervous system. Depending on which state they are utilising determines the state or our well-being.
The natural earth has other examples like the ebb and flow of the ocean, the beat of the heart in and out, as the heart muscle contraction and release or attention and awareness the mind gives between mental states of contraction and expansion
Jung an eminent psychologist talks about the 'Law of Opposites' for example we can’t have freedom without disturbance, calm without chaos or peace without distress, would we be able to experience and know one without the other?
I’ve learnt through self-observation and within my counselling work our mind tends to pendulate to protect itself from harm. Swinging between the opposites and many places, somewhere in-between. The goal to become aware and balance between the impact of trauma, stress and distress on our body and mind, find our resources to live and maintain our peace, contentment and resilience in any here and now.
After healing from traumatic experiences throughout the first half of my life - Pendulum of Peace was created to support others heal emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Why the name Pendulum of Peace? I’ve found in my lifetime I could swing from one extreme to the other because my emotions were never balanced and life looked all black and white, either or, all or nothing. But life isn’t like that it can be I know I lived this way for years.
I wasn’t taught as a child how to regulate my emotions; I wasn’t taught emotions were important and they could be a rich source of life, to enrich living. I was taught it was best to put up and shut up. Life was scary, inconsistent and confusing, the day I found myself sat at the bottom of my emotional pit was the day my life changed forever.
And once more I found the pendulation of my inner self an anchor to comfort, to reach out from, and heal the past.
In my life I find the anchor of my grandparents clocks to be a constant. The reality is emotions and moods are transitory if we allow them to be. Rather than hold on to them 'as if' our life depended on the way we feel, it doesn't. Don’t get me wrong “feelings” can be and are powerful and I recall a time when I actually thought my feelings were that intensely felt (in the extremes), I thought they were about to kill me. Many years later here, I am very much alive. Now-a-days my pendulum still swings, as in the flow of living, but in a balanced way, no extremes as I regulate my emotions in the here and now. Because of this I am resilient and mainly synchronized between my Mental, Physical and Spiritual selves. This doesn't mean I don't get knocked off my balance from time-to-time, many times, because I do, that is life. Whenever I feel the 'osculation getting sifter then I know its time to take stock, ponder, reflect and evaluate what;s going on in my inner world. What it means is I can handle whatever life throws at me in a more intuitive and energetic way then of my past.
My pendulums balancing creating peace on a moment-by-moment and daily basis.
What more could I want!
If you can relate or want to heal past or childhood traumatic experiences, want to explore and raise your self-awareness, raise your self-esteem or confidence, want to grow and develop. in your inner world
I offer a free half hour video call so you can meet me before our first session.
Contact me at pendulumofpeace8@gmail.com or telephone, text, WhatsApp message on 07867938630 and lets connect and realise the possibilities of your potential.
