• Susan Stubbings

Beware counselling is good for you!

Updated: Feb 11


Counselling is a talking therapy, in-person or face-to-face counselling has been the most recognised way a client seeks support, sitting down with a counsellor in the same room can be what fits right for you. The alternative to this is online counselling that has all these benefits and more. (See here).


When we are going thorough significant life challenges or suffering emotional distress because of a traumatic occurrence that shocked us to the core or a difficult transition. For example, loss of job, difficult relationships, illness or struggling to come to terms with a new health diagnosis, facing the end of a loved one's life, or facing a bereavement process. Counselling can be of enormous benefit. For example:


Gaining support – from a professional practitioner when you are facing overwhelming or challenging experiences can bring a sense of relief, support you to gain a new perspective about your experiences and support your empowerment to choose a way forward. By talking about your feelings and thoughts out loud with someone who doesn’t want to change them or give advice may be enough for you to clarify your situation or know what to do or if in fact you don't want to do anything at all. Talking to a professional can support you to decide on your next step even if that step is to do nothing here and now, you will be supported in a non-judgemental and compassionate way.

Greater understanding – of your lived experiences, your past experiences and how the past impacts upon you in the here and now. How your past influences the way you are making decisions in your daily life. As you become more open to your experiencing you will find a deeper meaning and appreciate the present time. Live each moment with a richer recognition of the good things you can enjoy in your life, what you have rather than what you don't have. Living with motivation, a lasting sense of fulfilment, contentment and peace look forward rather than to your past, becoming all that you can become in your lifetime.


A firm sense of self - counselling can support you to develop a stable enduring sense of self, who you really are and want to be (read more here) self-understanding and develop confidence, assertiveness, and a strong self-esteem. All these concepts will support you in your existential living that is rich in emotional intelligence. You will experience both comfortable and uncomfortable feelings and be able to handle them ‘as is’, as you recognise emotions and feelings more readily in your awareness. You will be able to meet the challenges and quirky conundrums life throws your way with more ease and less time spent in anxious thoughts, procrastination, or depressed feelings. As you learn to trust your inner self more, life will feel freer, lighter and you will experience more joy, happiness, and peace.


Stress reduction – that everyday stress that holds you back; through counselling you will find your interpersonal relationships improve, how you relate to others and your intrapersonal relationship with yourself. How you feel and think about your self (self-image) will change and you will become more comfortable in your own skin. Facilitated to see things with more clarity. The less stress we experience, the more productivity we can put out, whether that’s in work, relationships or in ‘me time’. You will feel more balance in all areas of your daily living.



Develop and grow – communication skills, learn by practicing in a safe space. Strengthen your existing awareness, skills and knowledge and learn new concepts, a different perspective and as such more able to express your feelings and thoughts in a more conscious way. Will improve relationships with work colleagues, family, friends and how you use language towards yourself.


Increased quality of life – by talking to someone who is independent of your network of relationships, someone who will give you time, attention and really listen and hear you. The counselling process is a unique journey you take with a therapist together, can offer you a sense of relief and a connection; with an understanding, non-judgmental and genuine person. Counselling is about exploring your perspective without having to hear an opinion or advice, the counsellor with be genuine and accept you as you present in your sessions. This supports your autonomy, empowering you to challenge yourself and explore new ideas, clarify your position and create the changes you may want to make, exploring in a safe dedicated space.


Collaborative relationship – in a dedicated time and space where you can be yourself and not left carrying your difficulties and concerns alone, a problem shared with someone who is not connected to your daily life, who doesn’t judge you or offer their opinion or advice can support you to clarify your situation, support you to find your innate resources, strengths and clarify your thoughts, feelings, and next steps.


Build resilience - through improving your communication skills you will increase your resilience to face and handle your daily challenges with more ease, mindfulness, and creativity. This reduces stress, increases openness to others and self, creating a willingness to ask for what you need when you need, much more, rather than repressing your needs and fulfilling them in the immediacy of time, your awareness of your immediate needs will increase, and need satiation will be more spontaneous and easy. This offers you a sense of connection to others which creates more equality and trust in yourself to do what’s best for others and equally for you.


Increase emotional intelligence – I'm led to believe from clients feedback and my own experiencing that people engaging in counselling enjoy more mental health days than those who struggle on alone. There are times in our lives when we all need to ask for support, which is a skill in itself. Focusing on your perspectives, beliefs, meanings with effective explorations on how you express yourself, becoming aware of how you might experience the same patterns of thoughts which have you stuck with uncomfortable emotions. We learn our emotional patterns in childhood to survive, they served us well, but now we are no longer 7 years old do they work for us here and now? There is no right or wrong emotion only healthy and unhealth, counselling can support you to utilise more healthy emotions and healthy emotional patterns and experience more inner peace and contentment.


Personal process – your counselling is unique to you, held in a safe place with dedicated time for just you. Where else do you get 50-60 minutes to devote your undivided attention on yourself? With a trained professional practitioner facilitating offering the same attention listening, hearing you and consistent focusing on you. Supporting you and raising your awareness through understanding of your self-concept we can increase knowledge and skills around emotions and how they drive us. This will reduce repressed feelings, anxieties, OCD, reduce suicidal ideation and increase emotional regulation and a sense of control over your emotions rather than your emotions bursting or leaking out at the most inconvenient times.


These are just some of the benefits of engaging in a therapeutic relationship – contact me to find your path to peace through a unique and productive voyage – together we can.


Contact: email pendulumofpeace8@gmail.com or by telephone, text or WhatsApp 07867938630

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