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Do you feel too comfortabl ?

Writer's picture: Susan StubbingsSusan Stubbings

Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable

 

We’ve all heard of the mental concept of a comfort zone, that place within each of us that feels safe and secure, the familiar sensations and feelings in our daily living.

 

Its that safe base and the place we settle down into rest and recuperate after a busy day.

 

Our comfort zone whilst comfortable can also be a place that keeps us stuck, immobile and stagnant, which in turn evokes our fears when triggered or at times of stress or distress.

 

To grow and develop we need to get comfortable with the uncomfortable.

 

We do this by understanding our window of tolerance:

 

Pushing our comfort zone or our window of tolerance in the beginning is uncomfortable. Being in uncomfortable situations isn't easy, or what we really want because we enjoy feeling comfortable.  Who wants to put their self in a place that feels dangerous?

 

Isn’t that what you’ve been avoiding?  Yet isn’t that what’s been building your stressors and evoking anxieties?

 

Change isn’t easy we tell ourselves, yet change is inevitable you’ve had to change to get stressed and to get unstressed or return to regulated nervous systems, needs change, we need to change what we do, our mindset and the way we think

 

HOW DO WE DO THAT?

 

We step out of our comfort zone one step at a time,  pushing our tolerance to distress and uncertainty.  Nothing in life is guaranteed and it is up to us as an individual to choose to live our best life and reach our fullest potential.


Growing and developing isn’t about pushing ourself past our limits, that’s how we got dysregulated in the first place, it’s about taking just one step out of our comfort zone at a time. Just enough to feel uncomfortable, not overwhelmed.

 

We  don’t want to trigger any past traumatic feelings or thoughts, so think slow and steady.

 

Widening our window of tolerance and thus stepping out of our comfort zone into the uncomfortable starts with identifying ways to construct whilst at the same time deconstruct. 


A gentle graduating and extending process, stretching and challenging ourselves to builds our tolerance.


This getting comfortable with the uncomfortable in this way becomes less scary the more you gradually push those comfort boundaries and/or do things a little differently.

 

Take time to think about what you want to change before setting off into 'doing'. Writing your feeling and thoughts down can help you identify what you want to change.


Suggestions to support you getting comfortable with the uncomfortable:


  • Accept change is inevitable and we must change to grow and develop

  • Accept where you are here and now

  • Accept you are having difficulties and want to change

  • Name & claim, “I am experiencing anxiety”, “I can handle all my fears”

  • Get curious, embrace the unknown

  • Let go of the outcome accept what is

  • Identify, understand and challenge your thought patterns 

  • Challenge your behaviours and try new things

    • take up a new hobby

    •  join a gym

    • simply start by taking better care of yourself

  • Create self-compassion and empathy

  • Get comfortable with your mistakes we all make them; the skill is to learn from them rather than use them to beat yourself up with

  • Change your mindset around your perceive failures – Rome wasn’t build in a day!  Trial and error makes for success.

  • Expose yourself to what you fear slowly and gently – one step at a time

    • think about what scares you first

    •  write your fears down in a journal

    •  read them back to yourself several times

    • notice what’s evoked by reading about your fears

    • write down what is evoked

    • write down how you might handle the feelings/thoughts

    •  think about acting

    •  repeat these seven steps before putting it into action.

    • repeat these seven steps before putting it into action.

  • Get comfortable with challenging the uncomfortable


Each time you challenge yourself take time out to reflect, write down your findings so you can see how far you’ve come, what’s changed? how did you achieve that change? write about how you feel and think after the challenge and to help you identify your next steps.


Every time we challenge ourself, we’re building resilience and widening our window of tolerance thus our comfort zone expands.


You don't need to be alone whilst you are widenings your comfort zone make it easier on yourself and contact me today - Together we can.


I offer a free 30 mins video call so we can meet before our first session. Contact me at email: pendulumofpeace8@gmail.com text or Whatsapp message to 07867938630 and lets connect and realise your fullest potentials.

 

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