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  • Writer's pictureSusan Stubbings

The Romance of Self-Discovery

Updated: Jan 16

I think the poem at the end of this post offers food for thought, says a lot about how we perceive our experiences and the process of change. Which can be difficult once we have formed habits.

Self-discovery and Self-awareness takes time, trial and error and patience with ourselves to become aware of our behaviours, thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations.

It is a deeply personal voyage and journey which is unique and as individual as each person is, it is a process that takes time to think about, prepare for and put into action.

Finding your truest and authentic self is important because it offers us a peaceful and contented living, in the moment flowing, and a happy life.

For me it started with questioning, who am I? What is it to be an authentic human 'just being'? What am I? Who am I? I use to 'do' a lot. I still do a lot but with a slower pace, more focused and orgnaised pace getting lots more done I might add.

The benefits of discovering who you are and becoming self-aware are many for example:

  • Offers more conscious choice.

  • We enjoy more mental health less problems.

  • We face our daily challenges with more ease.

  • We understand our needs and are able to fulfil them or ask for them to be met.

  • We understand our personal values, beliefs and motivations

  • Understand our strengths and weaknesses.

  • As such we are able to 'play' to our strengths and accept or strengthen our limitations.

  • We live a happier more fruitful life.

  • We smile a lot more.

  • We are resilient, we have the 'bounce back ability'.

Self-discovery does take time and effort but it is well worth all the effort and time, it feeds itself and it keeps us motivated as we start to feel better in ourself and our daily living.

Lets start .... sit or lay somewhere comfortable, take a pause, annnnnd breath in deeply, annnnnd exhale take another breath in and relaaaaaaaaaaaaax

Then ask yourself one of these questions:

  1. What is my purpose?

  2. Am I living my truest fulfilling life if so how if not what stopping me?

  3. What do I want from my life?

  4. What do I value most?

  5. What am I most proud of?

  6. What makes me happy?

  7. What is left undone that I want to get done?

  8. Who are my role models?

  9. Who do I want most in my life?

  10. How do I want to be a role model to others?

  11. How do I want to be remembered when I'm gone?

  12. How do I know what I am feeling?

  13. How do I use food, alcohol or others?

  14. How does my inner chatter help me?

  15. What do I need to let go of?

Or ask the questions that are already on your mind and take each question one at a time find a comfortable quiet space or create one in your home, put mediative objects on a table or shelf to aid your reflections and have a journal or pen and paper to write your answers down. I like to play calming music in the background helps me contemplate better and focus, set the scene and safe space that allows you time just for you and experiment to find what feels comfortable for you build your own calming and reflective space for some 'me' time.

Don't push the answers allow them to come to you as you roll the questions around your mind.

Notice ..... notice ......notice ..... practice and notice what evolves and record what you notice.

Food for thought!

“I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in.

I am lost... I am helpless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in the same place.

But, it isn't my fault.

It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in.

It's a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”  

If you would like a companion or you are struggling with your mental or emotional health then contact me and we can discover together.

I offer a free half hour telephone or video call so you can meet me before our first session, use my site form here or


Contact me at or telephone, text, WhatsApp message on 07867938630 and lets connect and realise the possibilities and your potential. 

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